Last Day

I walked around the sky tower for over an hour and took a picture from every window. I was trying to get to the point where I could think about my impending departure without tears, but I never quite got there.

Tears are not really my thing. That's not entirely accurate. Tears happen as often to me as the next person, but I don't like for people to see me cry. Tears in public are not my thing. My ex used to affectionately call me crybaby because he was one of very few people I would allow to see me cry and I'd told him when we met that I don't cry. So, to be clear, I do cry just usually not in front of people. The occasional exception is usually at movies, in the dark where no one can really see me anyway at least that's what I tell myself [ Note: here is a complete list of movies that made me full on weep in theaters full of people - My Girl, With Honors, A League of Their Own, Armageddon, Lord of the Rings - Fellowship of the Ring).

But I am not the same person I was when I arrived in this country. Which is one of the reasons that leaving it is so difficult, way more difficult than I was expecting. What's worse, I can't even put my finger on what it is I will miss aside from maybe myself.

I mean, the country is beautiful, but so are a lot of places (many of them in my own backyard), and the people are super nice but truthfully (introvert that I am) I didn't actually talk to that many of them, and the cities...

Wellington was wonderful. I went to every possible market (the famous night market, the arts and crafts market down on the waterfront, and the Sunday farmers market), and I looked for penguins (but didn't find any), and of course went to Weta Workshop and took the tour (which had a cute tour guide whom I might have attempted to chat up if I weren't such an introvert). Napier was beautiful, but sad (maybe because it is winter, I don't know). Rotorua and Taupo both had a similar summer town in winter vibe to Napier.

Auckland was my favorite probably because it feels so much like home.  Of course everywhere you look you see mountains and water just like at home (but that's true of pretty much the whole country). I mistakenly believed Auckland to be a smaller city than Wellington when apparently it has a much larger population. Auckland seems less urban though and more laid back. The streets are wider and the pace seems slower. I love it here, in Auckland, but I love a lot of places that I never she'd tears about leaving.

My happy place is Granada, Spain. I almost dropped down and kissed the ground when I got of the plane in Granada because I could already feel how much I was going to love it there. London is another place I love. It's the only city outside of North America that I've visited more than once. Obviously I also love Austin, Texas. I mean that's a city I can't stop visiting. If I have any excuse to visit Austin I can't get on a plane fast enough. Let's not forget Canada. Everything's better in Canada, and my dream is to retire to a lake front apple orchard in Kelowna, BC, make cider, and swim naked in lake Okanagan every day.

I love all of those places but I never shed tears over leaving any of them. I don't know what it is about Auckland, but I'm having a real hard time letting it go.